Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
