so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
