Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
