i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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