is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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