Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
