So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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