Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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