i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize