I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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