I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize