I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
