just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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