I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The uberlube is also flammable
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
