I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
