I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
