Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize