Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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