My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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