This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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