If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She announced her abortion via fbk
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
