wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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