He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize