Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize