Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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