4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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