I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
