That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
