and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
