no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
