her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I need moral support for this bender
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
