the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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