Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
