you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
