Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
