her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
