i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
