why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
