All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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