I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
