if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
50% drunk capacity currently
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
