none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
