my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
