Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
