Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Couch. On fire.
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