More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
