Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
