Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
