he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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