Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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