Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
