If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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