So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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