You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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