He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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