***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I died a long time ago.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
