After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
