you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
