Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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