so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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