walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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