Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
