Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
