she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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