You made me cry and you don't even care
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she smelled like a LAN party
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
