I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
