whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
