we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
