dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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