am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You are the jesus of drinking
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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